Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
