A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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