The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
