I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
