Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
