All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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