He asked to "fluff my boner.."
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
