Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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