you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
