the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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