So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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