you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
