He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
