stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
