Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so explain again why im purple
no
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
