i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize