so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
