this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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