OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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