mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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