Nicole vs. Life
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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