How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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