im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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