i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
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TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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