Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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