super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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