I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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