Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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