It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
