yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
