I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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