When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
