conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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