U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
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I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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