Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
