we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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