Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
