she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize