He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize