I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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