You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
someone owes me an orgasm
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
