I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
