Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
