id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She even gives head with a lisp.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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