dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
