OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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