Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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