i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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