It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
