Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
