Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
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he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
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You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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