I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize