i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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