Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
