There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
