I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
