She announced her abortion via fbk
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
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So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
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That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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