You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
