so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
