How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
