I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
