i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize