Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
